i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
