We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
