I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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