she was so not down for the gang bang
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
sex in a hospital.. check
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
