You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize