Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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