After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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