My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
