so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
