My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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