This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
