Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
