her vagine was all disorganized.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
