she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
