There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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