I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
