i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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