He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
