party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize