would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
