Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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