You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
