he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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