HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize