Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
