Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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