It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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