I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
