Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
