you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
