Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
