just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize