Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Also, beer. Big fan.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
