turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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