So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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