i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
