your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
