Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Your penis caused this!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
