It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
