using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
