he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
