Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
