I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize