Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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