Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
