Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
