Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
