I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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