but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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