Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
