Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
