You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize