there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
