She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
