If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
try to milk me bitch
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