I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
